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The food has arrived, but no other news to report...
Tuesday, February 17th, 2015... The next time that you look in a mirror -
stop for a long second or two. What do you see? Do you see yourself
or do you see an older version of yourself? I am lucky. I truly see myself
standing there. They say the mirror doesn't lie so I am happy with what I see.
I may have mentioned this already, but a year or two after my father made the
transition - I thought I saw him in the mirror standing behind me. Naturally,
he wasn't there, but I was glad that he was still keeping an eye on me.
What about pictures? When I look at our old photos, I smile when I see all the folks in my past
and present that I have loved and who have loved me.
However, when I look at recent pictures of myself, I would rather look like the
image I see in the mirror. What do you think - does a mirror or photo do a
better job representing how you really look? Moving on.... This cold
weather is forcing me to read more so I checked out all my various spots for
stories that don't make it to FOXNEWS. This one is about a seventeen year
old lad who, last week, had to have a penis reduction. It is the first of
its kind. I hope he doesn't regret it later on in life because my friend,
PC in Tennessee, who is a few years older than I am said that things on his body
started shrinking. He said that at the age of 75 his penis started
shrinking so much that his wife renamed it Turtle. I am digressing.
Let's get back to the seventeen year old who had to face this drastic surgery.
I am not going to get explicit here, but his penis grew so large that it
prevented him from having sex or playing sports. I wonder which one was
more important to him. The urologist at the University of South Florida,
who treated the teenager, said that the request left him speechless. Again,
I am leaving out details about how it looked after the surgery, but I am happy
to say the surgeon was quite pleased. To me, that is not important - I
hope the seventeen year old can now play sports. ALL SPORTS!!!!!
(March 3rd is our next date.)
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015... "Get out of my way, You Old Fart!"
No, I didn't say it; however, I may have thought it last Thursday when I was
coming home after picking up the groceries. Actually, the old man, driving
the 1996 Buick in front of me, may have saved me
from being involved in an accident. Yes, this happened on the 210 cutoff
heading back to the island. The speed limit is 45mph, and he was going about 25mph.
Well, maybe it was really 35mph, but it sure seemed slower. There aren't
many passing zones on the cutoff so I just sat back and listened to the songs emanating from my entertainment center. GMC calls it something
else, but right now, I can't think of the correct name. Finally, we
reached the traffic light at 210/50. Yes, it turned red just as we
approached. The Old Fart was first. Traffic going to the island
at eleven in the morning this time of year is not heavy. There was a
break in traffic so four or five cars could have turned to the island.
However, Slo-Mo was looking every way. At last - he pulled out.
I was next. The light was still red for me and no cars were coming so I
started to make the turn. OMG, a car on the opposite side of 50 was
pulling out towards the island. The light was still red for me - turning
right and red for him, but he continued to make his left turn and forced me to hit the brakes.
I didn't hit him, but I had a few choice words. The "Runner of the Red
Light" turned into the Food
Lion. I continued toward the island without waving goodbye to him.
Hey, guess who was in front of me the rest of my short ride home. Yup, the Old
Fart. But he is not the rest of the story. The damn light where that person
was turning left is the real problem. Okay, bottom line - The next day, Helga
and I checked out the light on the north side of 50 - which Helga swore had no
turning arrow. It did! Helga said it was new. Great! There is no sign on the
south side of 50, which is the busier side, warning drivers that folks coming
out may be running what seems to be a red light. The state highway department
down here does not use NO TURN ON RED. Thank God, I hate those signs. However,
NC has to come up
with something to warn folks that the opposite side may be running a 'red'
light. Give it a shot folks - What would the warning sign on the busy side
say? See you on February 17th.
Tuesday, January 20th, 2015... How are our checkbook, MacDonald's, and the
birds at Soundside Park connected? Well, let's start with our checkbook.
I have taken care of our checkbook since we retired. About 90% of our
transactions are done either via the internet or electronically. Six months ago, I asked Helga if she would like to learn how to work the system
and take over that chore. She was reluctant, but she accepted the
challenge and did quite well except for one thing. Let's just say three
trips to New Jersey and Christmas took its toll on the balance we had in the
checkbook. She always complained that we kept too much in the checking
account that pays next to nothing in interest. She was correct. I
guess we were too busy (lazy) to stop at our favorite bank - Marine Federal
Credit Union, which is on our way to Jacksonville - and make a deposit.
When we came back to Topsail after the holidays, I decided to give her a break
and catch up on the bills and bring everything up to date. Well, to my
surprise, our excess of funds in our checking account was no longer there. I said
to Helga that we were going to have to replenish our checkbook with a withdrawal
from savings. Helga, being quite frugal, was against that move. She
wanted to take some austere measures to return our checkbook back to normal.
I agreed to it and said the first thing we should do is stop going out for lunch
so often. That statement brought tears to my wife's lovely eyes.
Oops, how do I recover from this? The MacDonald's sign flashed through my
mind. I said we could go there instead and save money. Helga started
smiling. She always told me that she did not care where we lunched
as long as we went out. Remember - Helga is semi-retired when it comes to
cooking. So we sat down and planned a meal from MacDonald's. Here it
is - two dollar menu cheeseburgers and one diet coke. If we were really hungry,
we could get three cheeseburgers and split the third one. The total for
the original order would come to $3.38. Oh, yes, take-out only because
if we went inside, we might be tempted to order fries. Next step would be
to take our healthy meal to Soundside Park and enjoy our repast with the
wonderful sights on the Intracoastal. Now, the birds enter the picture.
Did you know that they will fly to your car when they hear the power windows
going down or up? I know my youngest is not going to believe it, but it is
true. Oh, yeah, one bad aspect of this phenomenon - if you don't feed the
birds when the windows go down, they will poop all over the car. Yes, we
found a new location to enjoy our well-balanced dinner at the beach. I will return on
February the 3rd.
Tuesday, January 6th, 2015.... Wow, where did the last month go? I don't know
where IT went, but I went to New Jersey.......of course, my wonderful wife was
with me. WE had a great time! We were even able to have four or five dinners
with ALL the kids without work or sports interfering. No, no.......not to worry
about Helga, she did not have to cook that much. When it comes to cooking, she
is semi-retired. She did make her
well renowned stuffing and coleslaw (or as they say down here - slaw) for our
Christmas dinner. Okay, enough about food.... The weather was great
which means we had warmer temperatures and NO SNOW. I made a resolution a
few years ago that I would never shovel snow again, and I have not broken it.
The kids did take us out to dinner at the 3 B's in Lakehurst. It was A++
in every respect. Everyone was happy with their Christmas presents as far
as I know. Four of us made it to Atlantic City before Christmas.
Three of us came home with money, and the winners even took me to another new
restaurant for dinner. It is called Element Restaurant and Bar, and it is
in Manahawkin. It, too, gets an A++ rating. Two or three of us were
going to make a return trip to AC, but guess who became ill. Yup, you got
it - ME!!! It started on the 22nd - three days before Christmas.
Damn, what could be worse? Not to worry, it was only a sore throat and
cough. Again, Helga to the rescue. She started with the pills and
the syrups and who knows what else. Oh, she even tried giving me a pill
not for people with glaucoma. Thank God, whatever it was didn't hit me
hard. It did linger for quite a while, but it did not put me down for the
guess those flu shots do help. Did someone say - HOW'S HELGA? Helga
started feeling the sore throat on our way home on Sunday, December 28th.
She is still not a hundred percent and has been unable to cook all week!
Hmmm, I wonder if that was her plan. Well, stay tuned...see you back here
on January 20th.
Tuesday, December 9th, 2014.... I can't believe that there are only 15
more shopping days until Christmas. I am sure I will get my shopping done. I
have faith in my daughters. I have faith in my son, too, but he doesn't do any
of my shopping for me. I wonder if he will accept a dangerous and
difficult task - like taking me out for target practice.
This will be our third trip to the Garden State in three months. I guess
we really miss all of our kids. I am almost ready to go. I had my
yearly physical last Thursday. I also stopped at the dentist because they
have to order some medicine for my old bones that are trying to hold on to my
teeth. They have the medicine there, but it is 'less expensive' for me to
order through Express Scripts. I picked up my new sunglasses for the trip
because my 'white out' condition is acting up again. I was a little
concerned about that condition until I read that Bono of U2 fame has the same
condition which is caused by OUR glaucoma. I am sure everyone knows
Bono .......my favorite U2 song is "The Hands that Built America." Well, back to
getting ready - as I said ALMOST. My only problem is our house sitter.
Tina is booked to sit someone else's home. I guess I didn't get to her
soon enough. Now, all is not bad. She said she is house sitting
Mary's house which is right next to ours. Mary is heading for Ireland for
Christmas. Hmmm, I wonder if she will see Bono while she is there.
Okay, back to Tina, which is not her real name. I don't want to advertise
for her if she doesn't housesit for us. Tina said that since our homes are so close she can do
both. Great idea.... One night in mine and one night in Mary's and
the cost will ..............what? She wants to charge us both full price.
Where is the Christmas spirit? I guess it is the season for spending.
Merry Christmas to all. May the New Year be prosperous and peaceful for
all the nations of the World! I'll be back on the island for the New Year
and back rambling on January 6th, 2015.